Why I Hate Minis

Okay, don't get me wrong. I like miniatures. Who doesn't? They're pretty little flavor to add to your game. When I played D&D, I'd ooh and ahh when that guy brought out his minis collection. They definitely added something nice to the game.

But minis are superfluous. They're bulk. They're cost... and I hate my games being expensive, heavy and big. So a while ago, my friend got Zombicide on Kickstarter. He paid a whopping $100 for the game because it came with 114 minis! And that was with the Kickstarter discount... the game went up for retail for $90, with only 71 minis. And you know what? The game wasn't even that good...

Whatever happened to cardboard cutouts on little plastic stands? Heck, what happened to pawns outside of Eurogames? Sure, cardboard people don't look as nice as a plastic 3d guy, but they're way cheaper and take up way less space in that box. And you know that bigger box? Yeah, it costs more to ship. That's more money they cost.

Let's take a look at the classic Clue. No.... let's take a look at Clue Mater Detective (Cluedo and Super Cluedo for non-Americans). The board and pawns look a lot nicer in that version... yes, pawns. You could see a picture of your character, but you otherwise were just a pawn colored by your character's name (Sgt. Grey, Colonel Mustard, Miss Peach, etc.). What was wrong with that? Would the game really have benefited by adding detailed 3d minis to it? Would it have been worth the extra $10-15 for it? Oh, they actually did release a version with minis? Oh, come on....

I think we've come to this awful time where board games stopped being a niche, and have become mainstream via bitlust. Much like how video gaming has devolved into companies holding your hand through another modern military shooter, board game companies are trying to get you to buy their game on little plastic bits alone. Hey, you like zombies right? Have a hundred little plastic grey ones. Aren't they cute?

Now I know the Eurogaming market is still mostly little wooden cube and meeples, but their games often lack in theme or depth. You're not going to get a Eurogame about slaughtering a horde of zombies, represented by various colored cubes, any time soon. That's not to say that I don't like Eurogames, but I like theme and depth in games that most Eurogames don't touch. Ameritrash is all style and no substance, and Eurotrash is all substance with no style (or player interaction).

Why can't we have games that are dripping with theme, mechanics so smooth they'd shame a watchmaker, and don't come with an extra $20 of unecessary plastic!?